Darkness pervades
by crooked-soul
Summary: Voldemort is gone, finally dead, but on the battlefield where so many have died Harry is lost in darkness, can anyone bring him back from the edge? Warning:Slash DMHP


Darkness pervades.

On the edge of my senses I feel blood drip slowly down my face, mixing with stale sweat as it goes.

I must have a gash on my head, though I don't remember getting it.

The last few hours are a blur.

Flashes of light.

Screams.

Death. Everywhere death.

It stalks the battlefield like a predator of the night.

Always craving more.

And more.

But there was also determination.

So much determination.

The fervent desire for this to be it, for it to all end, one way or another.

I wanted so badly to be done with it all, with _him,_ with that stupid fucking prophecy.

And now I am, done with it all, its finished, over, there's nothing left to do.

Its a strange kind of freedom really, floating here in semi-consciousness.

Maybe I'm going to die, maybe I already am dead, I hardly know anymore.

There's only darkness.

It fills my senses, this never ending darkness.

There's no pain here, for that I'm extremely grateful.

I fear that the most, the pain of realisation, having to confront the numbers.

How many had died in the fight?

How many more people have I lost?

So I stay, floating, unaware, painless.

I wonder if I could stay like this forever, lost in the darkness, drifting on the tide of my psyche.

It would be a relief of sorts, nothing left to worry about, the weight of the wizarding world so abruptly lifted from my shoulders.

I am weightless.

My burdens lessened though there are still some that bear down on me, some that will never leave.

Like the guilt, constant aching guilt.

I doubt I'll ever come to terms with that.

Its my fault my parents are dead, my fault Sirius is dead, my fault Cedric is dead, my fault for dragging so many into what should have been my fight alone.

So much suffering.

I think of it now, memories passing by in my mind but I am detached.

Looking from the outside in.

I had done my job, I was free now to just wander and remember.

The survivors would understand.

My friends would understand.

It was over, all over now.

The world would be safe for a while until another wizard or witch decided massacring people was fun.

But it wouldn't be up to me to stop them.

Not me.

Someone else.

Someone else to carry the burden of hope and expectation.

_"Harry?!"_

Drifting.

Drifting.

_"Harry?! Harry, where are you?!"_

Someone shouting.

Shouting my name?

Maybe they will find me.

Maybe they won't.

_"Harry, love, don't do this to me! Don't leave me! Where the hell are you?" _

Closer now, the voice is louder, more persistent.

I just want to drift.

I don't want to go back to that place of pain and horror.

_"Harry, please?"_

But pain is already creeping in, like vines choking a tree.

My heart breaks a little to hear that voice cry out, so broken, so afraid.

I want to reach out to them, to comfort them, let them know that I'm okay really.

Free.

But I can't.

I'm not free at all.

I'm trapped.

Trapped inside my mind.

I can never reach out to those I have left ever again.

The people who love me, the people I love.

A blinding wall between us.

_"Harry...oh merlin, Harry you're bleeding"_

Don't cry.

Not for me.

I'm not worth it.

_"Harry, wake up, I need you to wake up, you have to be okay, you have to get up so I can take you to one of the Healers"_

I'm trying.

I am.

Trying to reach you, to hold you, to tell you everything's going to be okay now.

But I can't.

Can't move.

Can't escape.

Lost in the darkness.

Far from you.

Far from the world.

How did I ever think this was peaceful?

I'm screaming inside my head.

Screaming so loud but no-one hears me.

Eternity consumes me.

_"Harry..don't do this..don't leave me..you have to wake up, Ron and Hermione need you, I need you! You can't give up, not now, not when we finally have a chance, not now that he's finally gone. Harry..please?" _

Don't cry.

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

It's like trying to rip through a plastic sheet that wraps itself around me.

Suffocating me.

I'm trying to find you.

Trying so hard.

But I'm tired.

So tired.

Oblivion waits with open arms and its so tempting to just let go.

Just let go.

_"Dammit Harry! You PROMISED! You promised me you wouldn't leave me! You promised me that whatever happened we would be together in the end, one way or another. If you die you know I'll follow but we could have had more Harry, we could have been happy!"_

Pain rips through to my core.

He can't die.

Not him.

He deserves to live.

I have to try harder.

I have to save him.

I have to make my last, desperate attempt to break out.

_"Draco..."_

_"Harry! Oh thank Merlin, you're fine Harry, you're fine now, I'm here, I'll look after you. I'm here, everythings okay now, everythings okay."_

_"Don't cry.."_

_"Shh, I'm not crying, I'm fine, you're here now, thats all that matters, you're all that matters now."_

**So what did you think? I wasn't very sure about this one especially the ending but I felt like writing it anyway, I hope you like it xx**


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